The beauty of life is in the fact
that it makes you experience breath, growth and evolution. Had it been a string
of standstill and solitude moments, it would lose much of its charm and magic.
People are at the heart of our world who define the sphere of our character and
lives. Travel, art, literature, sports, economy, wars, conquests, all happen
because people inspire and influence each other constantly. Nature in its
benign calm is soothing, in its wrath is demonic and in its functioning is mysterious;
but it is people like us who give each other the high of relevance and
relations, an awareness of the head and the heart.
As we came into the world, our
family was the opening scene to make and understand bonds. Gradually we stepped
out; the circle of interactions grew, first slowly then rapidly as we turned
into adults. We found people and they found us. Of all these familiar bonds made,
we of course know which ones are fake, formed for mutual favours and manipulations.
Of the rest, some exist with indifference; others are for mutual fun, good
times and hallelujah. But there are those genuine ones, winnowed and chafed
from the clutter which we foster, nurture and treasure. If these connections
are destined or chanced is really irrelevant. Because whatever be the genesis, it
is time, trust and a tacit acceptance of each other which takes them to the
next level.
The remarkable part of these
genuine relationships is that they can be numerous and each will be very
distinct from the other. With some you just laugh your heart out, do crazy
stuff, with others you simply sit and talk, talk from dusk to dawn about life,
love, lust and everything in between, with others you share your secrets and
fears, from some you seek advice and guidance, others are your fall back
cushion, you know they’ll watch your back always, somebody makes your heart
throb instead of just beat, and with somebody you just melt away being
yourself. Of course in some relationships the dynamics are overlapping. That
one single connection takes care of a lot of variables but never all. You will
find yourself sharing specific things with specific people. We unconsciously
compartmentalize and sync our emotions with various individuals. For every need
there is someone different. And this is the largess of our lives, a boon. A circle
that has no sharp corners.
This circle interestingly
explains that you and I as individuals are extremely complex and have layers of
varied personalities and characteristics within ourselves. We aren’t apparently
aware of these multiple wavelength needs but somehow fulfill it very well. When
you experience a particular emotion – could be joy, fear, excitement, success,
depression, anything, you exactly know the first person to call up. And this
selection happens naturally, spontaneously, seamlessly with time. But the
variables of any relationship are extremely bustling and active. They are ever
changing, either flourishing or withering. So it is very naive of us to assume
or say that this one particular relationship of mine will be unchanged or
unscathed forever. The circle of people alters and evolves.
Every kind of relationship needs
time, tender care, effort and proximity. And when one or the other changes in
the wrong ratio, the bond begins to wilt away quietly. Sometimes it doesn’t die
or disconnect just reinvents in a different or less intimate way. New buddies
take the place of old chums, best friends become lets-catch-up-someday pals,
more than friends become just friends, companions become acquaintances. That’s
life, you move on. You sometimes sit back and reflect, even rue but you don’t
recriminate.
When I started writing this
piece, I had no inkling that it would veer to this question, but somehow it
just occurred and seems fitting to put across now. We can comprehend and digest
the fact that we are evolving individuals who change their relationship
equations and wavelengths with time, and consequently make new connections and unmake
previous ones. This is absolutely alright, no gossip, no taboo and no shame. Just
natural circulation of people in our lives. But in the course of time if we
might outgrow the bond with our spouse, may not share the same companionship, and
might not find each other in a common head space; should it be such an
outrageous affair? After all we are the same evolving individuals of flesh,
blood and grey matter. So why is this such an outlawed and disgraceful possibility?
I am not imposing my opinion here, just stating matter of factly.
Patience, tolerance, honesty are
the keep stones of any strong and sustainable relationship. However, some
relationships are blood relationships having slightly different fundamentals
and when not working we distance ourselves from them not necessarily
disconnect. With friends, if it isn’t working we never mutually acknowledge and
decide to cut off, just the closeness dissipates and we find new ones. But only
in the case of spouse does it get so difficult. This is a chosen relationship but
over time might become passive and nonviable like any other, but unlike friends
where you can keep piling on new ones without cutting out the old, you ideally
have only one spouse. And when it isn’t thriving enough you need to acknowledge
and address it. But if it’s beyond repair, you want to move on which needs
severing the existing bond completely. This total split gives it the unholy,
unnatural, atrocious character. Almost criminal in our local societies. Logically
and rationally, it’s not villainous to step out of marriage if it serves only
to stifle a person. No wonder, generations after mine and my own consider
marriage an overrated and over-hyped phenomenon because there are no exit gates,
not without inviting a lot of uncalled for labeling or slandering.
However, I might go back to the
original happy idea of this post, it is people and people alone who colour our
lives in beautiful and countless ways with their vibes. They make life
pleasurable, memorable, cherishable, but above all they collectively give us
something so extraordinary and exquisite that we are scared stiff to lose them
and shot to pieces at the thought of losing our own life. These genuine
connections, no wonder are proven essential for your well being. I read a
beautiful quote somewhere, “I just want to be a happy vibe” and that’s what our
inner circle of relationships are just a very happy vibe. And to go thankless
for them would be a crime indeed.
No comments:
Post a Comment