A crisis has a certain inherent
quality about it, to bring out the best in people like nothing else. Time and
again, people have united into a strange familial bond when calamities have
struck us. Empathy and compassion which are usually nonexistent in our normal
lives suddenly reappear; revived and resurgent running in every vein. And this
is exactly what we, the Chennaites, witnessed in our hour of desperation. Every
safe individual in his capacity has contributed and volunteered for the relief
of his fellow citizens. Class, community, religion and such barriers drowned in
the rising water. Only humanity floated. How I wish this sentiment to stay with
us forever, long after we swim out of our deluge. This is the apparent, larger
and overwhelming scenario of our calamity.
But unwittingly, this crisis gave
me perspective on some smaller yet significant aspects of our day to day life.
We Indians are spoilt by the relatively easy and cheap availability of domestic
staff. It was only in their absence, that I realized the foibles of middle and
upper middle class lifestyle and upbringing. While we wholly understood the
staff’s catastrophic situation and leave, it meant that we were doing our own
chores otherwise done by them. Doing these odd tidbits around the house, I
realized that the biggest folly of our upbringing is that we believe with
conviction that it is someone else’s responsibility to pick up after me.
A few instances will make it
clear to you too. While I was loading the washing machine for the past couple
of days, I found that several clothes would be inside out. The person loading
the machine must then turn over other’s damp, dirty and sweaty clothes and if
that’s dislikeable how about flipping over those sweaty and soiled socks as
well. It’s not a very enjoyable task. Thinking about it, does it take any
longer to take off the socks straight or flip over your own clothes before
throwing it in the laundry bag?
Another instance that pinched me
was about clearing our dishes. None of us regularly do our dishes in India, but
of course in the absence of the staff we need to move our limbs more
vigorously. Now there is always or mostly a small dustbin or clearing bin right
next to the sink. But we are in such a haste to dump the dishes, one on top of
the other, that all the leftover food just slides down, floats around in the
sink and blocks the drain. And the person washing those dishes must put his
hand and clean the muck. Wouldn’t it be so much cleaner and appreciated if we
could just empty our plates in the dustbin and then deposit them in the sink?
These things neither take effort nor time; it is just a matter of habit and a conscious
consideration for others.
However, the bathroom cleaning
chore left no doubt about our presumed rightful dependency on others to clean
our filth. Day after day, all of us were using the bathroom as usual except
that there was no one cleaning it. Two days later, it resembled some bathroom
of a dingy highway lodge with dirty foot marks smeared on the floor, all fallen
hair scattered around on the wet floor and more hair choking the drain
completely. When I found cleaning my own
mess so disgusting, I am sure the maid doesn’t find it any better.
Finally, the one thing that will
be unanimously agreed is that no matter how happily our kids may follow, “time
to put your toys away” at school, it is never the same at home and it goes for
all ages. My toddler daughter point blank refuses to put her toys in place
because she knows too well that her babysitter is readily available to do it
and if not her, mommy is always there. It is a very taken for granted outlook
that we live by.
However, these experiences also
made me realize that it is not out of aristocracy or imperialistic tendencies
that we do what we do. It is out of sheer unconscious behavioral attitude that
we consider others to rightfully clean our filth from inside and outside our
houses. It is a deeply ingrained belief with ancient origins turned into a vicious
habit. Our silver spoon upbringing and the same that we are providing to our
kids is largely responsible for our thoughtlessness. I am of course not
advocating doing away of domestic staff. It is neither possible nor practical.
But just a tad conscious shift in our attitude can make the job much less
repulsive for others who do it for us.
We are not taught to be
irresponsible but where is the conscious lesson on personal responsibility as
well? No wonder, “Swach Bharat Abhiyan” is still only an abhiyan (campaign)
after a year and a half and will remain so for another 100 years in our
country. No wonder, the nauseating Cooum’s (the hopelessly filthy river running
across the Chennai city) water inundated our homes in the flood because it was
chock-a- block with our very own garbage and unfortunately there’s nobody to
clean that sort of scum. A mindset change that “I am responsible to clean my
own mess” beginning with these small tasks at home will go a long way in
changing the social and environmental face of our society.
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