Catching reflection of my
slightly greying hair in the mirror concerns me about my age.
I am still in my early thirties. I wonder how
I would feel at sixty five. The mop of my mane will be mostly grey and skin
sagging no matter what night cream I use now. Yes, I agree, my lament is highly
vain and superficial. Still worse things could happen to my body at sixty five
like high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes and the likes. But I am relying on advanced medical sciences
to remedy them. It might take away some pleasures and conveniences from life
but I am hoping the overall situation will not be very grim. Because honestly, other painful and horrible
things happen to people in old age.
My parents live a very beautiful
and contented life with my brother, his wife and two adorable
grandchildren. Though they still lead a
very active life, a significant part of their lives revolves around their
family especially grand children who are their absolute joy. When I
hypothetically imagine that this bond be disrupted by someone, I shudder at the
trauma and untold grief that my parents would undergo. This distressed
imagination is enough to remind me that such a situation should never take
place in the lives of my husband’s parents as well. I may not be able to live with the guilt of rupturing
the most treasured bond shared between grandparents and a grandchild even more
cherished than a parent and child’s relationship.
Sadly, thousands of old people
are living miserable and anguished lives in old age homes away from their loved
ones. The psychological impact of leading such forced isolated lives,
constantly craving for love and care, is detrimental beyond medical repair. Their
eyes grow tired in anticipation of some visitor but none arrives. Every moment
is a struggle of emotions where each tear pines to glimpse the grandchild.
While figuring out the motivation for abandonment of parents, one reason starkly
stands out. In most cases, the daughters-in-law find them a liability,
intrusion and an unnecessary part of the family which should be gotten rid of.
To which the weak and subversive husband meekly complies. It is not to conjure
villains out of sons or daughters-in-law. It is to note the condemning degeneration
of our values and thoughts.
It is understandable that
sometimes people don’t get along with each other. The children might have differences
and rifts with their parents and in-laws. In such cases the ideal solution is
that people start living separately amicably. Distances do breed fondness. That
is how the westerners live, each one enjoying their space with no bitter
feelings. And dwelling in the comfort that their children still care about them
and they wouldn’t have to spend an eternity to hug their grandchildren. But
throwing your parents out, robbing them of their dignity and self-respect,
taking away their share of love and affection is simply heinous. What turns us into
such cold and self centred beasts that a mother’s wail and a father’s pleading
to be with their family falls on deaf ears and blind eyes?
Though there can be no rationale
behind such repugnancy, the one that my generation resorts to is financial
burden. Ask us, if there are such financial strains did we think of cutting on
our wardrobe, limiting our outings, budgeting our holidays. No. But yes, we did
decide to cut off our old mother and an ailing father. Strange ways of a
debauched world full of frigid consciences, to this end I conclude in a verse,
“We
squabble from parents to planet all,
Which
my mind comprehends not;
The
globe is warming but hearts are cold,
We
bring in pets but not our parents old.”
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