Happiness... as one of my friends’
mentioned is a very unique emotion, distinct from everything else, which has
the most wholesome bearing upon your heart and mind. Sounded very interesting and
so I thought it might just be enlightening to delve into its nuances. Of course
I have neither studied the subject nor have I gone into any research,
nevertheless I choose to write on it. After all a layman’s thoughts shouldn’t be
callously trivialized. More so, our personal experiences are no less insightful
and sharing it only surprises me how the same emotions flow through all of us at
some point or the other.
I have no doubt, yet I ask if we
receive happiness or create it. Of course I am aware that we are designed to
create it and then spread it. But since my awareness is not followed up by enough
strength and practice, I am usually at odds with it. Another dear friend just
twirled his curiosity as to why do we even exist. My belief is to know
ourselves. Or just to know happiness... Of what little I have understood about
life, it is a journey of self discovery. As they say every soul is immaculate
in its truest form, it’s the layers of our earthly life which distort it. So maybe
we are here to discover that unblemished soulful happiness within ourselves.
Happiness is a rather vague
illusionary term when I write it. It is the experience of it which matters. It’s
that profound feeling where you have this brimming joy which you want to give
to the whole world. You wish every single soul well. It doesn’t matter if you
see a stranger, you just want to smile. I’ll borrow my favourite phrase, “You
just want to be a happy vibe.”... No holds barred. I have had this momentary
flitting feeling at times and it’s awesome. Your mind which is usually doing a
drab draconian dance will be tapping on a totally different trance beat. You wouldn’t
really care for a glass of wine in this mind space. And your heart will
dissolve decade-old grudges with ease and empathy.
However, the challenge is in
converting this ephemeral beautiful feeling into a lasting state of mind. Well,
for the major part of the problem we are all too dependent on others to give
it. We are evolved to create it but haven’t really learnt it or honed it. Let me
put it in one of the most relatable scenarios here of when I fall in love. Love
and being loved is a wondrous feeling, which gives you a dizzying emotional
high. Makes you see the world very differently. So in this highly ecstatic
mental state, love is my primary feeling but happiness is my consequential
feeling. And it is this consequential feeling that I will spread around others in
the simplest of ways as smiling at a stranger or petting a stray cat. This
feather light feeling is extraordinary, immensely liberating and it does so
much good because I am contributing a happily charged vibe in the universe.
But the day I stop being that
person’s centre of the world, my feeling would be of insurmountable sorrow to
begin with. It is terribly heart
wrenching to see your fantastical world fall apart. I will for a while drown in
grief. However, when I think beyond I realize that my primary and consequential
feeling will be almost the same of hurt, sadness, pain or irritability but it
will be isolated to me. Yeah, I might react exasperatedly and exaggeratedly but
I will still not wish the whole world sorrow. I would not send a vibe that
wishes all the people in this world suffer heartbreak because I am suffering.
We aren’t really so basal or such morons.
Next, when I tried replicating
the same logic to other negative emotions of fear, anger, etc, I realized that
the consequential feeling is also always negative. And as human as I am, I
might wish ill for the person in context, but my antipathy is never so strong
or compelling to wish it upon the entire world in general. But when it comes to
positive expressions like excitement, kindness, success, etc the underlying
consequential feeling is always of joy. When I might write my bestseller, my exhilarating
primary feeling will be of accomplishment and popularity but my innate consequential
feeling will still be happiness. So in this success I don’t wish that all amateur
writers become bestsellers tomorrow, but in my happiness I just wish everybody
well. I respond with a smile and a happy heart. And that’s a very beautiful
place to be in. I want to end it here...
just staying in this amazingly blissful zone.
But sadly it doesn’t end here. It
rather ends when the excitement of my love and bestseller end. My stimulus subsides,
my happiness vanishes. How ironic then that despite happiness being the single
most undiluted and wholesome emotion bearing upon our hearts, minds and soul,
we don’t sustain it. Simply because for so long we have kept it dependent upon
people and events. But I guess it’s time to make amendments. There’s a time and
occasion to love, to succeed, to grieve, to fear, but to be Happy should be Timeless.
Effortless. Condition less. I need it. We need it.
