The "Morning Glory"

Some mornings do more to you than just rouse you. They awaken you with inspiration.

When such a wave of inspiration hits a homemaker and a mother like me, (surprisingly I do find the time to get hit once in a while), I feel inspired to contemplate, to understand the dynamics of my existence. I wonder about my purpose here on earth. Could it be finite to raising my kids and caring for my family? Period. As much as I respect and enjoy this job, a part of me still craves for other accomplishments.

Profound people on a higher tangent of thought say the purpose of life is to reach our inner pure self. Though I comprehend this wisdom, I am not evolved enough to choose it as my purpose yet. However, I am a spiritually inclined person who is trying to replace the subtle and apparent negativity in and around me with positive, accepting and compassionate vibes. My success rate isn't high so far but I am happy to be trying.

Ironically for the slightest spiritual exhilaration, human experience is a precursor. Human endeavours and interactions alone give you the opportunity to experience your soulful intrinsic bliss. It is for these endeavours and interactions that I am longing for to complete myself.

I wish to be lost in my thoughts and string them into beautiful phrases, I dream of plating exotic creative mouthfuls at my own cafe, I wish to dig deep in mud with tender saplings and then dance amidst my  blooming field, I long to travel this world unabated and drink from its wild beauty. Alas, I am here wondering when my kids will grow up and I shall be able to plunge into my other selves. But I am concerned that by that time I will be too grown up too...

It is these longings and concerns which make me question the purpose of my life. I am leading a very good and comfortable life, where I am much loved and needed and where I am trying to be more and more loving but I tend to ask myself is it enough?  It dawns on me that it is in the indulgence of my other accomplishments and through it that I wish to find my inner self.

This realization is a blossom of my existence and I call it my “Morning Glory”. 

AFTER THE SABBATH...

Well, it is one of those ominous moments when I am resuming thinking and scribbling again. I have had long sabbatical phases before but eventually a time comes when the wave of inspiration inundates my mind completely and I take to punching in keys again. During my Sabbath from thinking, I was actually nurturing a little angel in my lap. And God, let me tell you it is the most euphoric feeling to cradle a daughter.

I have a son whom I love as much and whose birth was an equally wonderful moment in my life but my little girl has completed my existence like nothing before.  I have never felt more content in my life. There’s nothing more that I wish.

However, candidly speaking the SALE with its 50% OFF hoarding still creates a lot of greed and wants in my otherwise satisfied soul. How ironic! And yes, I do go about fulfilling these mostly unneeded wishes. So while I went indulging my husband’s hard earned money in frivolous shopping, I also stopped by to pick up some vegetables. And the super spiked prices of tomatoes and potatoes, Rs.60 and Rs. 50 per kg respectively, diminished my SALE joy considerably . Now, that kind of sudden inflation does bother you.  I reached home, hurried to the kitchen and gave orders to my cook to use the tomatoes sparingly and wisely especially for their meals.

 Later that evening, while detaching the price tags from my day’s shopping I felt very little of myself. Here I was indulging in a whole lot of superfluous things and there I asked my domestic staff to eat less of tomatoes. How petty indeed. How significant can the cost of two extra tomatoes consumed even throughout the year be in the larger scheme of my things and life?

I felt uncomfortable thinking how we don’t bat an eyelid while squandering away money in lavishness but haggle and quibble for the most trivial and inconsequential matters in life. Thankfully, there’s a next time to make amends.

Well, these are disjointed ramblings running through my mind but the fact that they made their way to the blog is reassuring to me that the Sabbath is finally over.